Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Whose wish will Come?

This child.

This long awaited for child.

Is not perfect.

No child is.

But there's a problem.  A minor problem.  One that I want to be fixed so desperately.

She doesn't talk.

I take that back. She never stops talking. Unfortunately, it's not real words that she speaks.

'Lil has a total of 4 words, and only one of those is a "real" verbal word.  She waves goodbye; She signs please; She excitedly proclaims "Mmmmmmmm!" if something tastes good; and she says "uh-oh".

That's it.  No "mama". No "dada". 

By this point, she should have about 50 words.

My major in college was Communicative Disorders.  I know she has a language delay/disorder (the only difference between the two is severity).  I know she's smart. I know with some therapy, she'll get it, and I think she'll get it quickly.

For a very long time, I didn't really think about it. She was older when she figured out how to crawl - but then started moving super fast.  She didn't start walking until 15 months - but then three days later was literally running after Grandma's cat.  I thought she'd do the same with talking - nothing, then start talking in sentences.

Then I realized that I'd been waiting for more than five months.

A month ago, we started the process to see if she qualifies for early childhood services. In all the testing, I realized that she's just on the line. She might qualify, but she might not be delayed enough.  We should hear back any day now.

I want her to qualify.

Hubby doesn't.

I want my daughter to talk to me.  I want the screaming frustrations to stop.  I want to hear her say my name for real.  I want to understand what she's trying to tell me.

I think Hubby doesn't want his child to be "diagnosed" with a problem.  He doesn't think she needs help.  He doesn't remember just how much our other children were saying at this age.

I wonder if it's my background why I accept the idea that she has a problem so easily. It's not a major problem - she just needs a little instruction to learn to talk.  But Hubby hates the whole idea.  Hating it and hiding your head won't help her, though.

Whose wish will come true?  We'll just have to wait and see.


  1. Oh, crazy life. I think I would vote with you. Being diagnosed and thus getting help is a great thing. Good luck!

  2. Either way she is such a cutie!! Miss you guys!

  3. Oh, good luck. Nothing can be so pain staking as to not understand what your child wants. To know they are speaking and not being able to understand. My brother had to go through the same thing with his son the same age as R. I hope it works out for you to get help for her!

  4. Oh Laree, I know it's so hard not knowing what's best. I had three early talkers, and then my fourth, Henry, didn't say word until he was well past two. It was hard for me, because I was so used to how quickly my others were completely verbal... but then, one day, Henry just erupted with words. We went from never hearing Mama or Dada to hearing half the letters of the alphabet almost overnight. Once he figured out how much we loved to hear him talk, the words came like crazy. But he was much older than my other kids were when they started talking. Right now, it seems like Ivy is following Henry's pattern. She doesn't say much. She understands a lot though, so I figure the words will come eventually.

    At the same time, I'm not sure that early intervention speech therapy could ever hurt a child. If she qualifies, I'm sure it will be a great thing for her. And oh my, she is the cutest thing ever... reminds me a little bit of Ivy. :)

  5. I can understand where he's coming from in not wanting his child to have a diagnosed problem, but I'm with you that I would rather my child be diagnosed and then be able to be helped than to flonder and be frustrated that she can't get her thoughts across. I hope everything turns out for the best!

  6. I understand what you are saying about wanting help. I'm also in the camp with Jenny P. Three of mine talked right on time or even early. My oldest son was 3 before he was putting more than one or two words together. Now you can't get him to stop talking and it never hindered his learning ability. Whatever helps you have peace of mind is a plus for all of you.


Blogging tips