Monday, August 18, 2014

A decent week

Loss this week: -2.0
Total lost: 16.6


 Super happy with that two pound loss.  It was hard to get back in the habit of tracking points with my calculator (but SOOO happy to have that one back!).  I had seriously let myself slip on keeping track, so it was hard to decrease the food again.  But that's ok.  My only qualm is I should have had a bigger loss (it was bigger on Friday!).  I guess having cake two days in  row is seriously not great for a loss week!

Next week I will have been on this journey for 2 months.  I wanted to be down 20 pounds by then - which won't happen.  But still, as of today, my weight matches my delivery weight with 'Lil.  It's still way more that what I wish it was, but I haven't seen these numbers in almost 2 years!

Monday, August 11, 2014

Back on track

Loss this week: -2.2

Total lost: 14.6

 Oh that number is so much better!  Loosing another 2 pounds (ok, it's only 1.6 if you subtract my gain from last week!) but this puts me at a number I haven't seen for 3 years.  It's a beautiful number! If I loose another two this week, I'll be where I was when I delivered 'Lil. 

My biggest problem is that total number - at this point I should really be close to 18 lost if I want to make my insane goal.  I've got to kick it into high gear here.  Hopefully my calculator will come on Wed (please oh please oh please Mom remember to bring it with you!) and that will help so much. I just don't track well on  my own. I'm trying to keep a talley on my fridge, but it's so much harder than on that calculator!

Life is also so much better when one is no longer pmsing or retaining water from said pms.  It's like there's hope again in my weight loss!

Here's to another week down, and an even better one coming up!

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Post I don't Want to Write.

Loss this week: + .6

Total lost: 12.4 lbs

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It happened.  I had a HORRIBLE week, and seriously fell off the wagon.  And I gained.  Not only did I not loose the 1.75 that I'm supposed to each week, I GAINED HALF A POUND BACK.

Why did this happen you may ask?  It's simple - remember those hormone pills I have to take?  Yup, totally in the middle of those.  Which also means I'm pmsing, and I still don't have my points calculator back.  I tried to keep track with talley marks, but I was really bad at actually marking down.  Plus I kept on forgetting just how many points I get a day, and deciding it didn't matter if I went over a little, but didn't keep track of how many I was over for the week.

In other words, I realy didn't care about being good, and failed to pray every time I wanted something caloriefull and not a smart food choice.

I am weak.  My flesh is very weak. And when I don't ask for help to make my spirit strong, it doesn't come.  Asking isn't hard - wanting to be healthy more than pig out  is what is hard!

On the plus side, yesterday morning I was actually up 1.6, so at least I was good yesterday. And I can be good again today . . . although I still have 4 more days of pills and no calculator (that thing SERIOUSLY helps me!).  But no matter: this is me, recommitting myself!

Monday, July 28, 2014

down again

Loss this week: -1.1

Total lost: 13 lbs

It's been 5 weeks now since I started this adventure.  13 pounds in 5 weeks - not too shabby.  To make my impossible goal, I need to average 1.75 each week for the next 21 weeks.  That's not impossible, but it sure is improbable!

I know this week was a slightly smaller loss than before.  But there's a good reason for that . . . apparently my scale says I'm heavier than my mom's!  Which really means that my first loss on vacation was less than I thought, and this one is probably more than it says, and in reality I didn't start this whole process as heavy as I thought.  But I'm here now, and we're just going with my scale for here on out.

I was again amazed at the difference of the days I remember to pray (frequent, fervent prayers) vs the days that I don't think about it.  He only helps when I ask - so why do I forget to ask more!

This week, my hardest thing was traveling (again), and loosing my points calculator.  Man, that was a huge one!  But I should get it back in a few weeks, so at least that won't last too long.

I was gone for two weeks.  In those two weeks, I lost almost 5 of my 13 pounds.  Yesterday was the first time I've seen anyone, so at first, I wondered if anyone would be able to tell.  I feel so much better in my clothes now (they are starting to be super loose!)  But then I realized that it just wasn't very likely. I could see a difference, but I doubted anyone else would.

But someone did!  Only one person, and it was at the end of church, but I can not express how much that meant to me.  It feels fabulous to have someone else notice your changes. My weight is down to where I was before I got pregnant with Jelly Bean.  This is awesome!

Next week, I want my loss to be obvious to everyone.  Don't know if that will happen, but that would be amazing! 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Drugs and food

Loss this week: -2.4

Total lost: 11.9 lbs (ish)

I cannot believe how this weight is coming off!  I am just flabbergasted each time I step on the scale.  This week I saw a number that hasn't been seen for over a year.  Not only that, but by next week I should be were I was when I got pregnant with Jelly Bean.  I can pull my jeans on and off without doing the button.  And I just feel so much better about my body and the way I look than I did a month ago!

What's more impressive about that loss this week, is the fact that I spent 48 hours at a huge family reunion with lots and lots and LOTS of snacks, treats, and temptations.  So I also spent a lot of time sending up quick little prayers.

Years ago, I worked at an ice cream shop.  We were allowed to have samples any time customers weren't around.  And I quickly learned that if I let myself start snacking, I wouldn't stop.  Food is like a drug that way.   This week I remembered that.  Yes, there was all kinds of stuff out.  But by not letting myself start as soon as the food was there, but holding off until most was gone, or it was almost bed time anyway, made a huge difference in the amount I ate.  In other words, I kind of just said no to my drug of choice, and it seriously helps!  (of course, I've tried that before.  but while the spirit is willing, my flesh is very weak.  He's making a HUGE help with that weak flesh part!)

I'm trying not to get too excited about these losses.  They are a phenomenal start, but I'm sure it won't last.  I don't have a lot of faith in myself that I'll actually be able to maintain this rate of loss for another 22 weeks.  However, if I actually do, I'll meet my goal 3 weeks earlier than I planned!


Monday, July 14, 2014

and traveling is hard too

Loss this week: -2.1(ish)

Total lost: 9.5 lbs

So last week I talked about how my silly hormone pills are super hard to loose weight with.  But I recommitted myself, and prayed a LOT and things went MUCH better this week.

At least for the first half of the week.

And then I jumped on a plane with my kids and have been busy playing and chatting and laughing . . . and eating with family and friends.

When I'm trying to loose weight, I don't really like to broadcast it to every single person I meet. (except for the fact when I put it on my public blog hah!) So it's hard when family provides dessert with all three meals, or makes something you know will be not super healthy, or you decide to splurge and take your cute sister and clan out for lunch.

But hey - I'm down more than two pounds this week. I'm not complaing at all about that!

*two pounds ish.  I'm not exactly sure how accurate my scale at home is compared to my mom's.  So it's a slight estimate for my total stuff.  But taking my starting weight at home and subtracting my current weight at my folks house gives me that number.  We'll see when I get back home in a couple of weeks how close I was!  Also, apparently my ticker on the side bar rounds up, so that's why it says 10 this week instead of 9.5!

Monday, July 7, 2014

Hormones are Hard

Loss this week: -1

Total lost: 7.4 lbs

Let's talk hormones for a minute, shall we?  So, a year ago, I started to have some interesting symptoms.  My hair was falling out, I had insomnia, I couldn't focus, had hot flashes . . . it was crazy.  After a very involved google search, I found a site that listed the 34 most common menopause symptoms, and I had 29 of them.  Seriously - at 32 I was having that many symptoms.  Not cool.

In February I finally got around to seeing my ob-gyn.  To make a long story short - I took the easy route.  I could have done a ton of blood work (and had to come back three separate times to draw blood at different parts of my cycle).  But we knew that I have low progesterone (that's that whole infertility thing I went through), so we decided to just try taking some.  So I'm on this little completely round pill for 2 weeks out of every cycle.

And I love it.  My hair loss has slowed way down, I sleep normal, I'm not a crazy person (ok, that last one is relative.)  But it does have one nasty side effect: weight gain.  I gained two pounds every month while I've been on it.

Guess who started those pills again 5 days ago.

Guys - this week was hard.  Seriously, ridiculously, hard.  I didn't want to be good - I wanted to stuff my face with whatever I could find.  I didn't want to figure out points, or to stay with in them, and so honestly I was so. SICK. of FRUIT!!  Plus we celebrated Buddy's birthday AND we had the 4th of July, AND my Hubby decided to go buy my favorite treat too.  I knew I should want to be good - but I could barely come up with the desire to want to want to be good.

And I really wasn't that good.  I was down right awful a few days.  Saturday night I had a good long talk with myself.  I knew something was not great here, but why on earth was it being so hard.  It didn't take long for me to come to a realization: I had stopped praying for help.  Huh.  Imagine that - if you stop praying for help, He's going to stop helping!  And I realized again the weakness within me.  I CANNOT do this on my own.  There is just no way.

Yesterday was full of prayers again - both of apology and of help.  And it was better . . .but still hard.  I know I will only make this goal with His help.  So here's to a better week . . . and lots of time on my knees.
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