I can sum up my thoughts of breastfeeding in three little words: I loathe it!
It’s painful. I have a very hard time finding way that doesn’t make my back ache. My breasts ache all the time. It’s boring. It takes forever. I never think my kids are actually getting enough. I’ve never had a good milk supply with any of my kids. It just plain frustrates me all around.
I had zero interest in nursing my Little Fellow. Absolutely none. But, everywhere you turn in the baby world you are bombarded with the cry “breast is best!” And have you ever priced formula? That stuff is crazy expensive. I knew I owed it to both the baby and the budget to at least attempt it.
The first two days went fine. For all appearances, he was getting enough to eat. Then, on day three, he went more than 18 hours without needing a diaper change! And his jaundice numbers were getting higher and higher (that stuff only gets out one way!). So that night I had them bottle feed him. His bodily functions returned to normal, and his skin started to return to non-nacho colors.
“Great!” I exclaimed! I’m DONE nursing. He obviously isn’t getting what he needs from me, and I can say I tried! For the next 36 hours I did no nursing at all.
Then we went to his pediatrician after we were home from the hospital. Everything looked great (especially the jaundice which was almost completely gone now) . . . except for one thing. My Fellow was tongue tied! (anyone familiar with my stump will not wonder at all where he got those genes from!) We talked it over and clipped it right there in the office. The doctor encouraged me to try nursing again – that tongue couldn’t latch on properly before. I begrudgingly agreed . . . and it worked! (grumble grumble!)
But I didn’t have much yet to give him. I was feeding him for 40 minutes, and then still giving him a bottle for another 20. Let’s be practical here – I now have four kids, and I was spending an entire hour feeding my son! It was hard enough during the day, but to do that all night long too was just too much. I told Hubby I’d give it a week, but if it didn’t get better, I was DONE!
Two days later it was only taking 30 minutes to feed him. DRAT!
I still hate it, but it isn’t as painful as it was. And about half of the time I don’t need to follow up with a bottle after, so I know he’s actually getting enough from me. I have no idea how long this will work, but for now we’ll keep going.