Hush

I pause on the stairs, one foot above the other.  I listen.  I hear the fridge kick on. A car passes outside.  Thunder rumbles (again still).

But nothing else.

For slightly more than 24 hours, I have been the only living thing in my house. (ok, to get technical, there are three houseplants, and probably some bugs hiding out, but you get the idea.)

A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law called.  In a nutshell, she told Hubby that she moved to our state to see her grandchildren, and she was going through withdrawals.  Seeing as how they had only closed on their house three days earlier, I was thinking they might want to get out of boxes a bit.

But with a marvelous long weekend in sight, we planned a mutually beneficial trip. She got to be  Grandma. I got time alone.

This is the first time in my married life that I've been alone in my house. 

(and the sky is now green outside my window!)

I've painted my entire living room (two coats). I've sewn something just for me.  I've watched non-animated movies. I've sang random songs at the top of my lungs. I've cleaned out our new freezer.  I've eaten random bad for me food.  I've seen how long I can sleep in.

And it's been awesome.  I would not want to do this all day every day. But for a chance to recharge, it's been one of the best times I've ever had.

Tomorrow Hubby comes home. And we'll have time, just the two of us.  Then, Sunday afternoon, we'll go see the kids.  And I'll be ready to be a Mommy again.

Ready

TO start this post off, I'd like to make it perfectly clear that I am NOT pregnant. Ok?  Just so there's no mix up here.


Since I've been married, the majority of my friends have been older than myself.  As I've thrilled with each aspect of being pregnant, they have sighed with relief that it wasn't them. They had their time, but now it was someone else's turn.   It's always taken me back a bit. I've been so excited to be pregnant, the concept of being happy to not be so has been light years off my radar.

But I'm closer to understanding it now.

Last fall, Hubby and I decided to not have a baby in 2011. So of course I got baby hungry the month after we changed our insurance, and have stressed every. single. month. about our choices.

But that deadline is just about up now.

And I'm ready.

I'm ready for my last pregnancy to start.  I thrill at the idea of the last stretch marks. I'm ready to know what color clothes I need to stock.  How happy I'll be for that last catheter!  I'm ready for the last round of "firsts". I'm ready to be done with car seats. To plan the last round of toilet training thrills my soul.  I'm ready to not have little people crawling all over me. I'm ready to start this last trip down babyhood.

I don't know how long this trip will take. Last time it wasn't so great. But I thrill at the idea of finally starting it.

I know that this will be the very last time I go down this road. Physically, I only get four pregnancies, and we plan on doing some permanent choices regarding that.  Waiting these last few months for the timing to be acceptable has been agonizing - I just want to start this path!

I don't know how much I'll talk about it. It will depend on how hard it is this time. I don't think it will be - I know my body and cycles so much more thoroughly now, that I don't expect too much hassle . 

So here's to a new adventure. One I'm very ready to begin!

Wish I had a good title to put here . . . !

But I don't.

Last Friday, I painted my kitchen. I'm in love with the color. But you don't get any pictures.

Nope. That would require cleaning my kitchen.  And I'm apparently incapable of doing so right now.

Actually, I kind of am. You see, I have this crazy cold. My head feels like the size of a watermelon, my nose is raw from blowing, and any physical exertion causes window shaking coughs to emerge from my scratchy throat and scare my children.

Not so fun around here.  But my kitchen is pretty - and I'll eventually show you. For now, just so you know I'm doing more than taking 3 hour naps (yes, I've been doing that also!), here's what I've been working on:

 

(See, sewing is not NEARLY as aerobic as sweeping or doing dishes. Much more my current speed!) 

Buddy's quilt is almost done! Now I just need to figure out what the back is going to be, do all the quilting, and binding, and all that jazz. Then he'll just start bugging me even more for when his room will be finished. Someday little guy. Some day!

ranting

Just typing at 300 words a minute, which means 12 billion mistakes, to relieve my stress and frustration that my Hubby updated our browser AGAIN and now it's completely different, and I can't find anything, and everything is moved around and stressing me out and I really don't want to bother learning a new system, but he insists that every single update is better, so we have to update as soon as it's announced.

I know there are real problems in the world. But the fact that I just spent TWICE as long to check my bank account because I can't find the tabs anymore is seriously BUGGING ME!!

AND my baby threw up tonight.

AND I've got a headache from having my pupils dilated all day long.

AND I got almost no sleep last night.

AND my alarm clock didn't' go off today.

AND . . . Ok, I'll shut up now. Complaining won't make it better!

More strange adventures of 'Lil

'Lil just gave herself a bloody nose.

By sticking a pen up her nose.










Now there's some fun days.