Friday, May 1, 2009

Nightmares

As a child, I suffered from nightmares. Really.Bad.Nightmares. Killer clowns, maniac grandpas with guns, Giant blood sucking worms - you name it, I probably had a nightmare about it. Very bloody, scary, terrifying nightmares. I would say I averaged 4 a week. I remember being told that you can control your dreams since it's your brain coming up with things. But the first step is always knowing you are IN a dream. I never do. We weren't allowed to sleep with our parents, but I needed reassurance after the horrors my mind created. More than one morning my mother would find me sleeping on the floor of their walk in closet (which always had the light left on), using her dirty clothes as a blanket. I felt safe being close to my parents, with the light on, and cuddled with their smells around me.

My dreams are . . . strange. Really really strange. Just ask the sisters I grew up with - almost every morning I would come up stairs and announce "I had the weirdest dream last night". I am very involved in my dreams, and from what I understand, my dreams are just like most pregnancy dreams (I can't compare, since my dreams during pregnancy were just like my regular dreams) They seem more vivid than reality, one part science fiction, one part action adventure, and one part insanity. I never sit still in a dream, but instead (no joking) solve murders in hotels, fly with gargoyles, invent cures for rare diseases, and meet famous people (and all that was just this morning's dream.)

Why do I dream like that? Is my mind bored with the world around me that I have to create such action to entertain me at night? Do I crave adventure? Or is it just so opposite from me that dreaming is the only way I would ever want to experience such things. I do not often have nightmares now (but it's SO much nicer to have my cute hubby hold me as I wake up from one than to just have to hold my pillow tight!), but I live in an alternate reality as I dream. One of these days, I'm going remember to keep a notebook by my bed. I'll record the insane details depicted in my dreams. With a little tweaking, I think I could write the next bestseller.

Because really, I can't make this kind of stuff up. Except, apparently I do . . .just not in the waking world.

What do you dream about?

2 comments:

  1. This is fascinating to me. I never knew that you still have such vivid dreams. Please do that notebook thing someday and write that book. I'd love to read it.

    I sooo enjoy reading your blog, sis!!!

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  2. It is very rare that I remember anything beyond vague impressions any more.

    I do remember a reoccurring dream. When I was quite young, if frightened me. Then when I had the same dream repeatedly, I started wondering where the dream would lead. Somehow, I realized it was a dream, so there was no danger. Usually, if a dream becomes scary, I realize it is a dream, then sit back and see where it will lead. The one exception was when I dreamed I had done something which would affect my membership in the church. I was so relieved when I woke up!

    Anyway, back to this reoccuring dream. The dream is pretty simple: I am in a huge white room (maybe a stadium???). I am walking down a pancake colored path (pretty cool since they say males dream in black and white, and I don't really remember any color in a dream except for the pancake colored path). A black Warner-Brothers-Taz looking thing comes at me and tries to knock me off the path, or grab me. I am trying to get to the other side of the room, so I run, or stop, or dodge, or anything to get past this thing. Eventually, it grabs me, and holds me tight for a while, then it all starts over.

    I have not had this dream in years, but I still remember it.

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